


The Ultimate Crime

by bloop_magoop



Category: Villainous (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-11
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-03-03 13:40:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13342413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bloop_magoop/pseuds/bloop_magoop
Summary: Black Hat does something so diabolical, so heinous, so unforgivably wretched, and he's not even the slightest bit guilty......





	The Ultimate Crime

Once upon a time Black Hat took his pants off and walked around like that for the rest of the day.

"Damn sir," Flug said "Where are your pants?"

"Fuck off Flug the fuck face fucker," Black Hat demanded. "I'm the king of town and what I say goes."

Flug screamed wildly.

Black Hat went outside without pants.

"Haha," he said. "This was an excellent idea."

The neighbors screamed at his lack of pants. They called the hero cops.

"Stop Black Hat!" the heroes howled "Put on your pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Never!!!!!!!" he ran.

The heroes were appalled and pursued the pantsless wonder.

"Criminal scum!" they shouted.

"I'm never wearing pants ever again!" Black Hat yelled and did a pantsless kickflip. "Hahahaha I think I'll go moon the mayor!"

One of the weaker heroes fainted from shock. A medical team took them to the hospital. A news crew arrived to document Black Hat's latest act of disgustment.

"I am here at the scene of the crime," the newscaster said. "The situation is grave folks.........Black Hat just refuses to put on his pants!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

In the background Black Hat was swinging from telephone pole to telephone pole. His pantlessness was crudely censored. He ran pantless all through town, knocking people over, while heroes and the news desperately tried to keep up. He arrived at the mayor's house. A swat team was protecting the premisissisisiss.

"Fools!!!!!" Black Hat laughed. "You can not stop me from mooning your beloved mayor!!!"

"I didn't vote for him..." mumbled one of the swat members. Black Hat ran into the swat team like a bowling balls through pins. They tackled him but a tentacle shot out from the dog pile and ripped the mayor's front door off its hinges. Black Hat stood up with the swat team still crawling all over his pantless form, and walked inside predatorily.

"Come out come out wherever you are," Black Hat whispered. He searched the whole house until he reached a secluded corner of the basement with a trap door.

"Ah, the panic room! Mr. Mayor should be just inside!"

"Stop right there criminal scum!" the swat team and the heroes yelled.

Black Hat ignored them and opened the trap door. He shook off the good guys, hopped inside the panic room and......

"Oh joy of joys!!!!!!!" Black Hat proclaimed. "Not only is the mayor here, but so are his wife and two kids!"

"Please," the mayor begged. "Please Black Hat, moon me but please spare my family."

"Hahaha no lmao," Black Hat mooned the whole family.

"Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the family wailed.

"Mwahahahahaha, check out my ass!!!!" Black Hat wiggled his ass.

Once the family were sufficiently mooned, Black Hat made his way home. The good guys, devastated that they lost the battle, could do nothing but stay behind and comfort the poor mooned family. Black Hat walked into his house, yawned, and went to sleep in Flug's bed.

"Hey you sleaze!" Flug said, "My bed!"

The mayor and his family never recovered.

The end.

**Author's Note:**

> bonus points if you can name all the references. i think there's three


End file.
